how I became a personal stylist

how I became a personal stylist

I don’t think I’ve talked much about why or how I became a personal stylist. 

All my life, I’ve loved clothes and fashion. I typically didn’t have the stuff all the cool girls had, but I was always cataloging what those things were. I grew up in Mobile, Alabama, but my mom was from Los Angeles and we visited family there at least once a year. L.A. was where I really saw the cool kids. 

In my experience, people are either comfortable with clothes or they’re not. My grandma, sister, and I were. My mom and my other sister were not. In my memory, I started helping my mom with her clothes pretty early on, although you’d have to check with her to see if my memory is correct. We would clean out her closet, put outfits together, and I would pick out a few new things she needed to buy. Over time, I did the same thing for my sister, friends, and boyfriends.

I’ve never really known what I wanted to be when I grew up. In high school, I wanted to be a writer or a journalist or a classical musician. Definitely something in the arts. For a lot of reasons that I won’t get into here, I decided to double down on classical music, but reconsidered that choice over and over throughout my 20’s. When I was in my mid-30’s, I decided to make a change, mostly because I was exhausted from stressful jobs that felt like they left no energy for life outside of work. I did all kinds of things to try to figure out what work would be best for me. I read What Color is Your Parachute. I enrolled in library science school. Finally, my therapist asked, “what is something that people ask for your help with all the time?” My response was “clothes, but I could never work in fashion”. Again, that was something the cool kids did, and I was not one.


Even so, I started doing research into the various fields related to clothing. When I found the term “personal stylist”, I realized that was what I had been doing informally for the people in my life. As a job, it also fit the other aspects of my life and personality: introversion, empathic-ness (no, that’s not a word), connecting with people, helping women, and the ability to create a schedule around building a family. The (very) short version of actually starting the business is that I started a blog, then I started doing personal styling with friends for free and blogging about it, and then I sent out an email to everyone I knew saying that I was taking clients and I started charging. That was 10 years ago.


In the beginning, I had tons of imposter syndrome. I’ve never gone to a formal fashion school. I’m as they say, self taught. But as my loving husband would say, I’ve studied fashion informally for 35+ years. I’ve studied psychology, mindfulness, and personal development for 25 years. I have 30 years of experience helping individual people with their clothes. I’m also finally comfortable with saying I have an “eye” and I am good at creating aesthetically pleasing looks intuitively. More importantly in this field than any of those things, it seems that I have an ability to help people sift through their own junk (mentally and physically) and help them focus in on how they want to feel and the practical ability to logistically put that into place. At this point, I’ve been in business with very happy customers for 10 years, worked for thousands of hours with hundreds of clients, and have proven my ability to myself over time. I finally feel like I’ve earned the title “personal stylist”.


on free stuff + universal standard review

on free stuff + universal standard review

From the beginning of the mindful closet blog, I very rarely did sponsored or gifted content. Initially, it was a minimalism thing (interesting to look back at that blog post as I was multiple sizes smaller). As it became more common elsewhere, product recommendations from influencers started to turn me off. It felt unlikely that they really loved every item they promoted, and I've always wondered how much the fact that the item was free affected their opinion. I truly believe that everyone has to find out what works for them and can't be given rules from an external source, so just because something worked for an influencer didn't mean it would work for anyone else. I've seen client's closets with items they were influenced to buy but never wore because they didn't really actually work for them. I also hate having too much stuff, and it seems like it would pile up after a while.

Recently, the company Universal Standard reached out to ask about partnering. They offered to gift me up to $200 worth of clothes each month and a 10% commission on items that sold through my affiliate link in return for posting on social media. I decided to agree to partner for a couple of reasons.

Most importantly, I really believe in the way that Universal Standard is trying to do business in the fashion industry. They are trying to do something about the numerous reasons why the fashion industry doesn't work for the average woman with a changing body. The founders and leaders of the company are women. Their clothes are size-inclusive and they carry sizes from 00-40. They photograph their clothes on models of all sizes so that you can see how it might fit your body. They have a program called Fit Liberty on some of their core items and if your size changes within a year of purchasing an item, they will replace it with another size for free.

The second reason is that I am genuinely curious about trying the items so that I know more about them and can recommend them for clients to try.

There are a few other companies I'm being approached by, and for Universal Standard and any other brands, here are a few self-made rules that you can hold me to:

  • I will always disclose which items were given to me and how much I will make through affiliate links.

  • I will be totally honest with my thoughts about the item, even if they're negative.

  • I'm going to be very intentional about what I add, making sure that it is something I need and will use.

So! Here's my review of the first gifted item from Universal Standard - spoiler alert, it didn't work for me. 😬

If you'd like to check out Universal Standard's clothes and want me to get a commission if you purchase something, use this link.

latest finds

latest finds

Some of my favorite finds over the last month. These are affiliate links and I may receive a commission if you purchase something through them.

Make sure to sign up for my email list so that you get these links in your inbox!

can you care about style and still opt out of the patriarchy?

can you care about style and still opt out of the patriarchy?

How can I care about how I feel when I get dressed and still not be participating in a patriarchal system?

While many of my clients are women who’ve been conditioned to believe that they need to make a lot of effort when it comes to getting dressed, wear heels, wear what’s flattering - there is another group that’s been made to feel like it’s anti-feminist to care. This is the group I fall into.

When I was growing up, my parents were awesome radical activist-type people who believed that any effort put into your appearance (or interior design, or anything aesthetic) was a waste of time that you could be using doing something that helped other people. Consequently, I felt a lot of shame for my natural interest in clothes and getting dressed. In fact, I’m sure I would have gone into the fashion industry right out of high school instead of waiting until my mid-30’s if it had been acceptable to them.

Over time, I came to understand that having fun and experimenting with my clothes was a creative outlet for me. I also started to notice that when I was happy with my outfit, I’d have more energy to give to causes I believed in. When I didn’t feel good in my clothes, it affected my whole day. As someone who already struggles with depression and anxiety, I don’t need anything else to worry about.

Others are exactly the opposite. Clothes are not fun, not a creative outlet, and they just want to set it and forget it.

So back to that initial question - how do you care about clothes without buying into the patriarchal and white supremacist beauty standards that keep women occupied and oppressed? For me, it’s about examining everything I buy or wear and being honest with myself about why I want to buy or wear it.

Do I want that dress because it’s going to make me look attractive to the male gaze or because it expresses some element of my aesthetic preferences? Do I blow dry my hair because in a white supremacist society straight hair has been historically valued above curly hair or do I blow dry my hair because it’s the quickest way for me to get ready in the morning? Do I wear heels because they get you closer to the tall, thin beauty ideal or do I wear heels because - well, I don’t wear heels anymore. They’re uncomfortable and I’m not going to be uncomfortable to be pleasing to someone else’s eye. Sometimes the answer’s not clear. The point is, *you* get to choose. You get to make those decisions, not the patriarchy.

How about you? How do you reconcile your desire to opt out of the beauty ideal while still putting in effort on certain aspects of your appearance? Or do you opt out entirely?

your body isn't wrong

your body isn't wrong

If you’ve been around for a while, you know this isn’t the first time I’ve written about this, but I’m writing about it again because it’s so important to remember and because it’s so connected to the patriarchy.

Did you know that men’s clothes are designed with the knowledge and recognition (assumption) that all men’s bodies will be different in shape and size? Pants are often sold unhemmed because it’s assumed that the ratio between men’s waists and their inseams will vary. I learned only recently that men’s clothing is also made with fabric allowances to let out or take in to fit to the body of the person buying the garment. It’s almost as if they know that no item will fit every unique person.

Imagine if women’s clothes were made like that, to acknowledge the fact that EVERY single person buying the item will need to make changes to it to have it fit their body.

Not only are women’s clothes *not* made with a diversity of bodies in mind, women’s clothing manufacturers will actually design clothes to fit a mythical body and then search for the one human on earth who fits those dimensions to be their fit model. If they have a hard time finding one person to fit into their clothes, how are the rest of us supposed to do it?

And don’t get me started on the inconsistency of sizing (skip to 1:05 in this video for the history).

I wish there was a better solution to this problem than trying on a ton of items to try to hit the fit lottery, making your own clothes, or blowing up the entire fashion industry and starting over, but at the moment, there’s not.

So, just a reminder: your body isn’t wrong, your clothes just weren’t made for you.

for your listening pleasure...

for your listening pleasure...

Lately I've been using podcasts as a way to support my intentions for the day. If I need some energy, I might listen to something uplifting. If I need to calm my anxiety, I'll put on something mindful. If I am having a bad body image day, I'll listen to something that reminds me why I've chosen the path of body neutrality.

As you probably know, I also really love being on podcasts. It suits my introversion to have a deep conversation on things I care about, but without any of the anxiety of public speaking.

If you also use podcasts to keep you motivated, and want some support on things like letting go of clothes that don't fit, dressing for yourself and not the patriarchy, and why clothing sizes are meaningless, here are a few of the interviews I've done recently.

Intuitive Bites Podcast with Kirsten Ackerman: Dressing Your Here and Now Body with Dacy Gillespie

Food Heaven Podcast: How to Build a Stylish Wardrobe Without Sacrificing Comfort and Should We All Do a Capsule Wardrobe?

Free Method Podcast with Dylan Murphy: How to Feel More Confident in Your Clothes

A Certain Age Podcast: Stylist Dacy Gillespie Helps Midlife Women Live that #CapsuleWardrobe Life

100% Healthy-ish Podcast: Why Clothes Matter So Much and Not at All

Sunny Side Up Nutrition Podcast: Weight Inclusive Personal Styling with Dacy Gillespie

Food Freedom Lab Podcast: Intuitively Dressing in What You Feel Best In

Sustainable Minimalists Podcast: How to Reject Societal Messaging Around What You “Should” Wear


Happy listening!

we're not born with the skill to shop

we're not born with the skill to shop

Somehow, we've been conditioned to think that just because we're women, we're supposed to love shopping. However, since doing this work, I know that that's not true for the majority of you. It makes sense, since shopping is a skill like any other that needs to be taught and developed. You wouldn't expect someone to know how to build a house or reconcile an account without learning how, so why do we expect that of ourselves about shopping?

Many of you are confused about what you need, how to shop, where to look, what size to buy, whether to keep something, and on top of that, you feel bad about yourself because you're just supposed to know all this stuff.


You're in luck, because I have a Stress Free Shopping workshop that answers a lot of these questions. Here’s what you’ll learn:


  • How past experiences have shaped your present frustrations

  • Realistic expectations for shopping

  • How to keep your focus and stay away from distractions

  • How to make sense of sizing

  • Specific tips for shopping online


Sound like something that could help you? The cost is $47, check it out here.


P.S. If you'd prefer to just outsource the shopping to me, we can work together one on one. Learn more about my services here.