maternity style for hot weather

maternity style for hot weather

I'm such a proponent of mindful consumption that it's been hard to admit to myself that I needed a fair amount of new clothes to get me through the last trimester of this pregnancy. However, I often get asked what people should do during body transitions (of any kind) and my answer is always buy clothes that fit!! Your sense of self is changing enough that the last thing you need is to feel uncomfortable and unattractive in clothes that are too small or too big. I needed to take my own advice. 

maternity style for hot weather

Above: sunglasses, dress, shoes* - No. 6 not currently available

During my first pregnancy, I was able to do a lot more layering because I was pregnant during the winter and spring. This time around, since I'm due in late August, and because summers in St. Louis are brutal, I needed more lightweight, stand-alone items. Jeans will not be working for me this summer. 

Here's most of what I've purchased. 

TOP ROW jumpsuit: Asos, jumpsuit: Urban Outfitters, dress: Target via Poshmark*

SECOND ROW kimono dress: Not Perfect Linen* (actually still haven't received since it's made to order), shorts: Asos, dress: Asos

BOTTOM ROW  tee: Asos, striped top: Nordstrom Rack, cargo pants: Liz Lange secondhand* (same)

I tried to find as much as I could secondhand (all of my jeans and leggings have been secondhand) or from ethical retailers (marked with an *), but it's tough for maternity. Storq is one of the only ethical maternity brands I'm aware of, and none of the pieces were right for me (a reader just reminded me of Boob Design, but they're in Australia and shipping and returning is pretty pricy). It's a very weird feeling to buy this many items of clothing so quickly when this is usually about what I'd buy in an entire year, but again, you have to have clothes that fit! I'm hoping this will get me through to the end, but if it doesn't, it doesn't. 

P.S. The comfy bras I'm wearing now that my others don't fit (go here to get 20% off this  - I'll get a credit too) and the affordable maternity swimsuit I'm loving. 

P.P.S. Follow me on Instagram to see my maternity outfits in real time. 

This post contains affiliate links, which may earn a few cents when clicked on. 

 

first trimester (ethical) maternity style

first trimester (ethical) maternity style

Before it becomes old news, I thought I'd post a few photos from a photo shoot I did with my favorite photographer, Celeste Boyer. This was in the early stages of my pregnancy, and I was enjoying dressing the bump with layers. Of course, now it's boiling hot in St. Louis and I could never get away with any of these things! Enjoy. 

maternity style
ethical maternity style

Tee: secondhand via Goodwill, cardigan: Aritizia (similar), jeans: secondhand via Goodwill (similar), clogs: No. 6 (similar).

first trimester maternity pregnancy style
pregnancy style

Top: Elizabeth Suzann Linn tee, same jeans and clogs as above. 

Everything I'm wearing for these maternity shots is either ethically made or secondhand, which I was able to get away with before the heat wave hit. More about purchases I've had to make for the hot weather in a future post! 

creative motherhood: megan jedlinski

creative motherhood: megan jedlinski

As a general rule, I don't follow other personal stylists on social media. I have enough crap going on in my head without comparing myself to what others are doing. One of the only exceptions I've made has been for Megan Jedlinski. Megan is a personal stylist in Chicago and has a similar aesthetic to mine (i.e. no pink or glitter or unicorns). Her daily style is clearly appropriate for real life and her daughter is ever present on her social media, which feels relatable to me, since there are no full work days over here. I really wanted to have Megan on the Creative Motherhood series because she's recently stepped away from working to stay home with her daughter, Parker. I'm constantly questioning how much I should be working or not working, especially with another one on the way, so I couldn't wait to hear from her! Enjoy!  -Dacy

creative motherhood: megan jedlinksi

Q: Introduce yourself, your family, the work (aside from mothering) you currently do, and how that work has evolved as your child has grown. I know you've stepped back from working with clients, but what about managing social media and other projects?

I’m Megan and I live in the Bucktown neighborhood of Chicago with Steve, my husband of almost 9 years, our goofball of a daughter, Parker (who just turned 1!) and our 10 year old pooch, Winston. I recently closed up shop on my wardrobe editing and personal styling business, to become a stayathome mom to our daughter. When my schedule allows, I share my passion for minimalism, sustainability, wellness and cooking on my Instagram and newly launched blog, meganjedlinski.com.

The decision to transition to my full-time mom role was equally hard as it was easy, as I had no intentions of closing my biz prior to giving birth. The time, money and energy I invested, along with the incredible clients and people I connected with through my business, made it tough to walk away. Not to mention I felt like I was failing somehow if I quit, I wasn’t that mom that could ‘do it all’. But then there was Parker. Growing up week by week, then month by month. It was going too fast and I wasn’t being there for her in the way that I wanted to be (and I also wasn’t showing up to my clients the way I wanted to). Thankfully, my biggest cheerleader, aka my husband, couldn’t have been more supportive of this move and we’re fortunate to be in a position that we can live comfortably on only his income. So, as her 1st birthday approached, I was officially closed for business.

I’ve realized that since becoming a mom, I’ve embraced the progress over perfection mentality and have become a heck of a lot more efficient! When it comes to my blog, I launched before the website was done and I continue to move forward with it, even though I don’t feel ready or have a perfect plan in place. I simply don’t have the time or energy to obsess over small details like I used to. I’m still finding my groove and learning how to better balance my time with that and social media, somedays failing hard, other days totally killing it.

Q. Do you wish you could do more or less creative work? How do you manage those conflicted feelings?

There are definitely times I wish I could do more creative work (and not have major FOMO when Steve and Parker are hanging out!), however, I also wish I would let myself be okay with doing less creative work. While creativity is in my bones, I have this inner-struggle of feeling like I should being do more creative work as opposed to just being creative. Does that make sense? For instance, some nights I just want to turn on the Real Housewives and pick up my new hobby of knitting, but I feel like I ‘should’ be working on my next blog post. Often times, it’s when the shoulds creep in that I end up getting discouraged and neither the knitting or blog post gets done...but you can bet I saw what went down between Kyle Richards and Lisa Vanderpump! So long story short, I’m still learning ways to manage those feelings and trying to be patient with myself in the meantime:)

Q.  Does choosing to focus on motherhood affect any financial or career goals for you?

Absolutely. First of all, I never thought I’d want to be a stayathome mom. My ‘plan’ growing up was to be the one working and my husband would stay home with our kid...plans can be funny like that. In the short-term, it’s affected me in that my financial ambitions and career aspirations as a personal stylist have more or less come to a screeching halt. However, I’ve also changed career paths enough to know that my next passion and opportunity is out there when I’m ready for it. Being a stayathome mom may even open doors to financial and/or career opportunities that I wouldn’t have otherwise explored. The unknown of what my professional future has in store definitely makes me uneasy and anxious at times, but I’m learning each day to go with the flow and see where this crazy rollercoaster of life takes me.

Q. What kind of a “village” or help do you have around you?

Village or city?! The amount of support I have is more than I could ever ask for. My husband and I are truly partners in this journey of parenthood. The guy has probably changed more diapers than I and even with the demands of his work, makes sure to get in his dad and daughter time every morning and every night. We’re fortunate to have a close knit family that supports each other’s own endeavors unconditionally. My parents and in-laws live within an hour of us and my twin sister only lives about 5 min away (she actually lived with us while I was pregnant and for the first few months after my daughter was born!) My older sister is in Boston with her family, but is only ever a text or call away, not to mention they visit often.

My core group of girlfriends are the kind that will be around for life. They’re there for you at the drop of a hat whether you need an ear to listen or that glass of wine :D. The moms I’ve met since having my daughter have also been really incredible and have helped make the transition into motherhood a little less overwhelming. Can we also talk about this amazing community of creative women I’ve met locally and online? I love being a part of such a supportive group!

And finally, but no less important, there’s my therapist, acupuncturist (my daughter’s too!) and a health coach who have helped me on my journey of personal growth and overcoming my own issues.

I know I’ll always be a work in progress, but I want nothing more than to be the best version of myself for my daughter and I appreciate my ‘village’ for being there along the way.

creative motherhood series: megan jedlinksi

Q. Do you feel as though your work and home life lines are blurred? How do you handle that challenge?

Yes. This was very apparent in the beginning when I still had my styling business. I remember Parker was a month and a half old and I started responding to clients and hosted my first event post baby. I felt pressure (from myself) to bounce back and balance both. I realized pretty quickly that I wasn’t showing up 100% for either my business or my daughter. My husband could always tell when I was stressed with work related stuff and that’s when the conversation started about letting my business go. With starting the blog, I try not to over-commit myself and will give very realistic deadlines and expectations for any collaborations I do. When the blog or social media starts to feel stressful or take my mind away when I’m finger painting with P, that’s when I pull back and take a couple days to regroup and remember my most important role, being P’s mom.

Q. What’s a typical day like and when do you actually get your work done?

Parker usually gets wakes up around 7am and plays with dad while I get her breakfast together. Since she was 7 months old, she started attending daycare twice a week, and will continue to do so because we love it there and she has learned so much. Those are my days for appointments, meetings, coffee dates and catching up on projects (with a stop home to pump once or twice throughout the day). When Parker’s not in daycare, we’re usually heading out to a playdates or classes and I try to take advantage of my to do list while she naps.

My evenings are probably my most productive time of day with projects. Sometimes I’ll get up early on a weekend and go work at a coffee shop, but my early mornings can be hard because 1. I’m tired 2. I’m still breastfeeding and it’s those mornings she decides to get up early :P.

Q. What do you do when creative ideas hit you and you’re in the middle of mothering?

Write it down. This was especially hard in the beginning when Parker didn’t quite know how to entertain herself. We try not to expose her to screens and we didn’t have a play saucer (that minimalist in me!), so I didn’t really have any other choice but to write it down and hope the inspiration hit at a more convenient time. Now that she’s more independent, I can take a few minutes here and there to hop on my computer or phone to explore something quickly or send a quick text/email.

Q. Do you have any words of encouragement for other moms trying to do all the things?

You do you! It was really hard, and still is, not to compare myself to other moms and all that they were accomplishing, all while I could barely get myself showered and dressed for the day (btw, it’s 4 in the afternoon right now and I am definitely not showered or wearing a bra). There’s no right or wrong way. Our journeys are all different. Our experiences are all different. Our children are all different. Take a deep breath, drop the ‘shoulds’ and start trusting yourself. We’re all just trying to figure this thing called motherhood out and I’d say we’re all doing a pretty damn amazing job.

I definitely struggle with the "shoulds" and comparing myself to other moms who appear to be so productive. What a great reminder that stepping away can lead to doors opening in other areas and that we're all on our own paths. Thanks, Megan! You can find Megan on her blog meganjedlinski.com or on Instagram

(family photo credit: Brooke Blakemore Montes

creative motherhood: sarah

This entry in the Creative Motherhood series is really special for me. Sarah Dobbs is someone that I started following on Instagram maybe two years ago (?) or more. I don't remember how we connected, but I immediately loved her aesthetic, her approach to living mindfully, and her supportiveness of other moms trying to fit work in around being really available as a mother. We had many conversations over Instagram about these topics, but imagine my surprise when she revealed that she was moving to St. Louis, my adopted hometown! Turns out she's originally from here, but I still think of her as a New Yorker, mostly cause she's just so freaking cool. Since Sarah moved back to the Midwest, we've actually been hanging out in person and she's just as down to earth and thoughtful IRL as she is online. Oh yeah, and she just happens to live in one of the most envy-inducing midcentury houses in town. Enjoy her interview.   --Dacy

Screen Shot 2018-03-20 at 10.27.41 AM.png

Q: Introduce yourself, your family, the work (aside from mothering) you currently do, and how that work has evolved as your children have grown.

Hello, I’m Sarah Dobbs, a woman with a deeply rooted passion in design and I have been creating my entire life. I’m married to Kyle (nearly a decade) and together we are raising two boys; Grey, 6 and Hollis, 4. We recently moved out of the NYC area to a midcentury modern fixer-upper in the Midwest. I'm the founder of a lifestyle company the Home Capsule, where I specialize in professional organization. Having children was the catalyst for my line of work. I became interested in helping myself and other moms build lives that gave them the balance they desired. I do this by crafting ways to organize lives and homes, merging design with function. Time = happiness and having your life in order helps! I started small when my kids were babies, each year doing a little more to build the brand and expand my expertise and services.

Q. Do you wish you could do more or less creative work? How do you manage those conflicted feelings?

Having kids actually reignited the creativity within me. I try to weave feelings of being creative in our daily lives. From kids toys, art, rearranging their room, packing lunches, and helping them find a personal style.  It’s super fun, I’m happy with the amount of work I have but I’m interested in learning some new skills, like photography and woodworking!

creative motherhood blog series

Q.  Does choosing to focus on motherhood affect any financial or career goals for you?

Absolutely! I completely walked away from my career for a solid 4 years. I see peers in my field who are now VPs, etc. I was a workaholic in the most competitive city in American and success for me was being at the top of my field. My definition of success has changed and the financial ramifications will affect us for the rest of our lives, but I wouldn’t make a different decision if given the chance.  The experience I've had with my boys is priceless.

Q. What kind of a “village” or help do you have around you?

I didn’t have a true village until the boys were 2 and 4. I had 2 women in particular show up for me in such a big way that I’ve made it my personal mission to do everything I can to help other mothers.

Q. Do you feel as though your work and home life lines are blurred? How do you handle that challenge?

For a couple years they blurred and I hit a wall. My kids have been on tons of sourcing trips and showrooms. Now I structure my time where I have working hours and hours with my kids. School affords me the opportunity to work this way.

creative motherhood series

Q. What’s a typical day like and when do you actually get your work done?

Each day of the week I have a list of specifics. This is the first year the boys have both been in school full time. I have alerts in my phone that keep me on task the entire day. I put my phone away from 4-8 (after school to bed) and will pick it up again to finish up some tasks before my bed time.

Q. What do you do when creative ideas hit you and you’re in the middle of mothering?

I tell the kids ! They are excellent critics AND they ask a million questions. Which is great because it gets you thinking about your idea even more. I also think adulthood is mystic and mysterious to kids so anytime you ask, “can i tell you about this cool thing I just thought of?” They are on the edge of their chairs with interest.

Q. Do you have any words of encouragement for other moms trying to do all the things?

Don’t do all the things. OWN your particular situation and be proud of whatever decisions you make. Life is a learning curve. Take risks, see what happens, make adjustments and know you are you're own worst critic. So lighten up on yourself.

Thanks so much, Sarah! I love the idea of putting your phone away from 4-8, and of telling your kids about your work ideas - helps to show them that mom is a multi-dimensional person. Follow Sarah on Instagram here and find her website here

photo credits: Heather Moore

Find the other posts in the Creative Motherhood series here

normalize outfit repeating

normalize outfit repeating

When I work with clients or give talks, I talk a lot about the concept of repeating outfits, but I haven’t blogged about it too much (well, except for here, here, and here).

One of the biggest complaints I hear from new clients about why they need help is that they feel like they’re always wearing the same few outfits. To which I usually respond, why is that a problem? Where did we come up with this idea that we have to always be wearing something different? For every event, every work day, every school dropoff? From the impression I get from other cultures, this is mostly an American construct, which makes sense - we’re indoctrinated to think we need new stuff all the time, so we definitely need new and different outfits all the time.

mindful closet: normalize outfit repeats

I feel like this is one of the easier perspective shifts we can do which results in a vastly easier time getting dressed.

It’s simple. If you have an outfit you like, rewear it often and DGAF about who notices.

Think of how much time and energy you’ll save. As with a lot of the concepts I espouse, this is something that works for some people and not for others. If you enjoy coming up with new combinations and trying new looks and get joy out of the time you spend doing it, great, go for it! This idea is for people who are sick of worrying about it. 

I promise you, other people will not notice. If they do, SO WHAT?? So they will notice that you have worn clothes you OWN more than once. Great! Maybe it’ll get them to shift their perspective too. We need to normalize this. I posted on Instagram and Facebook recently about Arianna Huffington’s efforts to normalize repeats, which is what made me realize I hadn’t really blogged about it. She says, "Men have a competitive advantage. They don't have to waste the kind of energy we waste." 

I had a good friend tell me recently that it was always easy to find me in a crowd because I’m always wearing some version of the same outfit and usually with the same necklace. I took that as a compliment!

Do you feel comfortable wearing the same thing often? Why or why not?

(photo: Celeste Boyer)

the top three stumbling blocks when letting go

the top three stumbling blocks when letting go

When I'm working with clients on cleaning out their closets, it's a funny situation. Everyone has been having internal conversations with themselves as to why they should keep things they don't use or wear. It's my job to talk them through them and help them see the light! I'll be doing the same thing in the Making Space course. Here are three of the top stumbling blocks I've encountered and how to talk yourself through them. 

mindful closet: how to let go of clothes

Stumbling block: It was a good deal

This is a stumbling block that I know intimately, because it was the one that most often did me in. Ultimately, this is a shopping habit that needs to be changed, but we’ll get to that another time. Right now, you need to think about whether this item is serving you. If it is not, it doesn’t matter if it was a great deal, even if it was free, it is still taking up valuable space without providing value to you. We are often proud of the story of how we found something and how much we saved, even if the item itself is not something we need. Go ahead and tell someone that story - and then let it go.

Stumbling block: I love it, but…

I refer to these items as having a ‘fatal flaw’. Basically, you love everything about it except that it has one thing that renders it unwearable for you. Maybe it’s a gorgeous top, but it’s sheer and you hate wearing an extra layer under it. Maybe it’s a dress with a print that you absolutely love, but the fabric is scratchy. Whatever the issue is, you’re not going to all of a sudden wake up one day and be able to ignore it. It won’t get worn, so you have to let it go. Acknowledge and learn from why you love it and apply that to your future purchases.

Stumbling block: It’s high quality/it was expensive

This is a similar stumbling block as the first one, but there is more guilt involved here. We feel guilt because we feel as though we’ve wasted money if we buy something expensive and then get rid of it. Unfortunately, that money is gone whether we keep the item or not. In business, this is called a sunk cost and should be considered irrelevant. It’s not as if we get our money back the longer we keep the thing. If we let it go, we may be able to get some of our money out of it by selling it, or we can make someone else’s day to get something so high quality.

I often use Marie Kondo's theories with my clients. Marie Kondo wrote The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, which is a unique and revolutionary way of looking at organizing and decluttering. She writes that it’s often easier to let go of something if you thank it. While that sounds odd, what it means is that you thank the item for what it has taught you. If you bought something expensive and never wore it, what did it teach you? Maybe it taught you that you hate wearing pink. Maybe it taught you that you prefer to wear dresses more than skirts. Whatever it taught you, be grateful for that lesson, thank the item, and then let it go.

mindful closet: closet cleaning online course

There are four more stumbling blocks we'll cover in the Making Space course, including:

It was a gift
I might need it
I'll fit into it again one day
I loved it and wore it a lot, but not anymore

 

Do you identify with any of these hurdles to letting items go? If you want to hear more, join me on a Facebook live tomorrow, January 11th, at noon cst. 

To join the class, click below.

my baby is here!

my baby is here!

Nope, no human babies, just made an online course ;) 

Making Space is finally here! Seriously, creating this course has been WAY more work than I ever expected. I came up for the idea over the Christmas holidays last year, when I had a little creative space (i.e. grandparents were taking care of my kid). My original idea was for the course to launch in Spring 2017. I quickly realized that was unrealistic and moved it back to Fall 2017. I didn’t realize that that would still require a lot of “hustle” (my LEAST favorite word) over the summer, and so I chose a slower pace. That pace got us here, launching in Winter 2018. I’m really proud of the work I’ve put into this and I know that if it resonates with you, it’ll be really useful.

mindful closet: making space course

Here are all the details:

The course is four weeks long. Every Saturday, you’ll receive an email with the class for the week. In each class, there is a video to watch, workbook exercises to complete, and homework for you to do in your closet. There will also be a private Facebook group where I’ll be checking in on you and you can share about your progress with the other class members. Every Thursday, I’ll do a Facebook Live session in the private group to answer any specific questions that may have come up for you during the week’s work.

Curriculum

Week 1: Define your why, your style, and take inventory

Week 2: Editing

Week 3: Overcoming editing stumbling blocks

Week 4: Organizing what’s left and making a mindful plan going forward

That’s basically it. By the end of the four weeks, you should have a wardrobe filled with only things you wear and feel good in.

FAQ’s

Do I need to have watched the class and done the work by the time of the Facebook Live discussion? You can follow along with the group and have the exercises done by the time we discuss them in the FB group, or you can go entirely at your own speed.

How much time do I need to devote to the class? It’s going to vary for everyone, but on average, you should be prepared to devote at least 2-3 hours a week to the work.

How is the program delivered? You’ll get an email each week with a link to the course website, where you’ll be able to watch the week’s videos and download the corelating worksheets.

How much does Making Space cost? The course will take you through the exact process I use with my one-on-one closet cleanse clients ($350 and up). You'll get the course for $197.

How many people will be in the class? I want to be able to communicate with every member of the class, so there will be a limited number of spots.  

Can guys take this class? Nope. For this class, we’re going to focus a lot on the messages we’ve gotten from others about what we as women should be wearing, so it wouldn't be appropriate.

Of course, let me know what other questions you have, I’d love to hear them!

So who should take Making Space?

I really intended this course to be for people who crave more simplicity in their wardrobes but have a hard time getting from the idea of it to actually putting it into practice. If you don’t know what to keep and what to get rid of, if you feel like you have too much but don’t know where to start, if you know your life would be easier without worrying about clothes but you still think you need options, this class is for you.

mindful closet: st. louis personal stylist

Here’s what a few other people who’ve gone through the process had to say about it.

It’s such a relief to have a more consolidated wardrobe, to know what pieces I need to focus on, and to know which pieces I should avoid. - Veronica

I have felt so much better about my clothes, and I continue to let go of pieces that don’t work for me anymore.  - Michelle

Eliminating clothes from my closet could have been tragically painful. Instead it seemed like the easiest decisions I had made in a long time. My closet has since undergone two additional revisions with Dacy and another on my own. She helped me find the freedom of owning less.  - Brooke

If you're ready to sign up, go for it below! If you have more questions, I'll be doing a Facebook live about the course on January 11th at noon cst, or just shoot me an email

(photos: Celeste Boyer)